June 2012

The Trouble With Trends

June 30, 2012

The trouble with trends is they come back. They are cyclical. A swing of a pendulum and we go from neons to pastels and from pointy high heels to round toe ballet shoes.

7 comments Read the full article →

Frog Hunting With Kids During Summer Evenings

June 28, 2012

Sense of humor…Peter likes to take “frog orders” before he heads out. I say I would like a green tree frog and his brothers might say a bullfrog. Peter especially likes to watch people open the tote and see how many he has brought home. Below is poor Mitchell not expecting dad to pull giganto bullfrog out.

6 comments Read the full article →

Better Tell The Neighbors We’re Missing Razor and Feminine Product

June 27, 2012

I told him that was fine if he blocked me. When his wife comes back from Sweden and he can’t explain the tampon and razor blade on his swingset I will be laughing. Serves him right to not be able to sleep wondering what kind of freaks used their play set while they were visiting Ikea-Land and Golf-Heaven. Go ahead, block me.

10 comments Read the full article →

My Boys Put Me on a Dating Website? I’m Married to Their Father!

June 26, 2012

Find girls? Why sure if I am a little boy! I will click you and log onto your website via my mom’s accounts because she doesn’t have passwords on HER computer.

5 comments Read the full article →

How to Stifle Education with Cocktails and Other Threats

June 25, 2012

may have sat at a table for ten and been one of only two women and still somehow managed to bring up “Fifty Shades of Grey.” I then tried guessing which of the men looked tired enough to deem that their wives were reading it or had recently read it. This is no small feat considering most radiologists look tired from lack of sunlight and interaction with humans, I may have also mentioned this.

6 comments Read the full article →

Sunday Dinner Cancelled, Bring Vodka and Mop

June 24, 2012

It just bounced and as I bent over to pick it up it shot diagonally like a rocket.

So I twisted myself and tried to catch it on the bounce.

Wait that isn’t a bounce!

HOLY CRAP BAGS…IT IS SPRAYING UP MY DRESS AND ALL OVER?

8 comments Read the full article →

Ikea and Dragons

June 22, 2012

I keep telling Peter he wont be walking him on a leash if he doesn’t stop “loving” on him so much. I told him that the little guy is adjusting to his new home and needs to stay in his cage but I found Peter asleep like this…

13 comments Read the full article →

New Pet (Coming Soon to WP)

June 20, 2012

Here is one of my early posts you might have missed.  I will be back tomorrow with something new.  I am busy with a NEW PET!  Oh my word!  What was I thinking!   I had to buy two other containers of LIVING creatures to feed it. SOS!!! “Mom, the baby is eating the dirt [...]

1 comment Read the full article →

Revenge on a Parent by Way of Birthday Gift for Kid

June 18, 2012

It just began spewing jelly beans.
They were skipping across the countertops like Mexican jumping beans and then hitting the hard floor and rolling and bouncing everywhere.
I am now cursing it and my amazing friends that bought it.

7 comments Read the full article →

The Father I Used to Have (and Sea Monkeys)

June 17, 2012

I finally am able to inhale enough to exhale a sentence from my hypervenhilating…
“YOU DRANK MY PET SEA MONKEYS!”
His face.
My God…his face.
His eyes were huge and his head led his body into the kitchen sink.

7 comments Read the full article →

← Previous Entries