In honor of the movie release of “Fifty Shades of Grey” I wanted to share with you this post I wrote about the book when it came out.
I feel like an outcast.
My sweet, southern, girlfriends that I find so refreshing, have a little secret.
You can drive by their brick houses and see that something is going on with the family that lives there. The pansies that were planted last fall are leggy in their flower beds and should have been pulled out a month ago, and replaced with begonias. Their flower pots are sitting empty. Has there been a separation? Impending divorce? Illness?
No, they just discovered “mommy porn.” They are hiding in a little corner in their homes reading “Fifty Shades of Grey.” I know because when we go to soccer practices or the club they are whispering about it, giggling. They greet each other with, “what page are you on?” They declare that the second book is better than the first. Everyone my age is talking about it as if they have never seen the opposite sex’s private parts in the daylight. They are acting like a locker room full of high school boys with a dirty magazine.
I feel so left out!
It isn’t that I don’t want to read “Fifty Shades of Grey.” I would love to be in the middle of the giggling. I would love to feel all naughty with my mom friends. It is just that the situation I am in forbids it.
You see I bought my dad a Kindle for Christmas. I used my Amazon account to set it up for him and so far everything I have downloaded on my Kindle has loaded up onto his Kindle as well!
He is reading the books I buy and download before I do.
He is commenting and updating me on what he likes about the books that I haven’t even begun reading.
I AM NOT HAVING A BOOK CLUB DISCUSSION WITH MY DAD
ABOUT “FIFTY SHADES OF GREY!”
I found our seven year-old Peter’s beloved Bunny like this.
Maybe I could borrow Peter’s copy of the book when he is done with it.
It isn’t just the women that are being affected by this series of books. The husbands look tired. I heard one mom shout out to her husband at the lounge to “not have too many” and then give him a wink. I heard another tell her husband he better have a protein drink because she was going to sit and read while he is out playing golf, and when he gets home she might need some “attention.”
This is yet another reason to be mad at the Kindle. My poor husband is missing out on the “Fifty Shades of Grey husband byproduct effect.”
I ended up making up a game called, “Guess Which Husband Has a Wife Reading “Fifty Shades of Grey.” I am pretty awesome at figuring this out. That story is here, “How to Stifle Education with Cocktails and Other Threats.”
This is NOT “The South” you read about in “The Help” anymore.
Julie Catherine says
LOL! Poor Abby, and poor hubby too! The comment about Peter’s copy and that bunny photo is just hilarious, hahahaha. Truthfully, I haven’t read the books either – not that there’s anyone here to care if I did or not. I’m already so far behind in reading really good print and ebooks because of my own writing, packing and other projects that I haven’t really given that series any thought. LOL. 🙂 xox
Dude, they make these things called ‘books’ if you don’t want to download to the kindle 🙂 The line about borrowing “Peter’s” copy had me laughing out loud!
Too funny. I have no desire to read the books either but I have read other “types” of books on my Nook which are readily available for *free* through Barnes and Noble. I am happy to state that my account is password protected so only my little eyes can see what I’m reading at any given time. I’d die if my reading habits were shared with either one of my parents! Not that my whole library is full of smutty porn but I do enjoy a fun story about a gritty romantic romp every now and then!
Lorna's Voice says
I have not and don’t intend to read the trilogy. The fact that it is creating such a kerfuffle is interesting, though. What is it about these books? Are they a socially acceptable form of porn? I don’t get it. But I agree with you about not wanting to download books that you wouldn’t want your father reading (or have your father know you are reading)!