Why I Will Never be Freshly Pressed
1. I didn’t put TEN REASONS why I will never be “Freshly Pressed” as my title. Everyone knows you need a numbered list.
2. I usually have a picture of children being rotten in my posts. The pictures are also of poor quality because I am snapping it with a phone while making sure whatever child is not in the picture isn’t running away and trying to join another family. Seriously, it’s a real possibility when your mom posts about everything including your “sperm diameter fears.”
3. My pictures of children are of my children at commercial places like Disney World‘s Epcot and not an ethnic and interesting child in Vietnam or some other culturally rich part of the world. I live in a subdivision. When we do go on vacation it is to places that don’t require a 22 hour plane ride and 9 vaccinations for each child.
4. I do not post pictures of food. I tend to eat food and not take photos of it. If I stopped to take a photo of my food or copy a picture of it, it’s probably because I don’t want to eat it because of what it looks like.