Marshmallow

Peter, Mom, Dr Dre is sooooo funny! There is this video of a woman saying, “I hear what you’re saying but I am only listening to what I want to.” Then Dr Dre says, “Spoken like a true woman.”
Me, PERPLEXED “Dr Dre said this?”
Peter, “Sorry, I meant Dr Phil.”
I am cracking up at so many things including, why does he think that is so funny? He is 9? Also, he informed me he is VERY excited for puberty and then he asked me if the school
would know where the magician they hired who called his arms “marshmallows” lives.
That magician really put a burr in Peter’s britches. Apparently, he is waiting for “puberty” to grant him muscles.
I told him he needs to quit dwelling on this magician trying to be funny by teasing him and that surely the whole school doesn’t even remember.
His reply, “No mom, not the whole school. Just the 3rd-5th graders.
If I were the magician, I would look over my shoulder.

Smoking gun

Red Moon, of the Behind Kind

Sometimes you have to be really annoying to remind yourself why you married someone.
Here is what I learned last night…

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If you are out picking up sticks, putting down some grass seed, fixing landscape lights that were beat up over winter and as the sun goes down, and because you have spring fever and you don’t want to go inside, you may find yourself working with a giant spotlight with various color beams and setting.

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Then, when you are done and you are down a hill by the pond choking on your own saliva giggle laughing as you are shining a blinking red high intensity beam up at your bedroom window where your husband is in bed watching basketball, all lame like, and you are laughing outside so hard at yourself you are wheezing…

you will be mooned by your other half.

 

Red moon tonight folks

My red spotlight shone on my husbands bare white bottom.

Yes, he could be your doctor if your lucky.

The man is all business.

Funniest part was he walked out on the deck and said, “Did you see the moon?” I circled around craning my neck and said, “where is it tonight?”

He says, “Muppet” (his word of endearment for me) “My moon!”

And I fashion myself as being quick witted.

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Confession

Peter woke us up at 5:00am complaining he had a terrible nightmare. I tried consoling him and giving him happy thoughts so I, I mean he could go back to sleep.
After tossing and turning he declared he was too disturbed to go back to sleep and went about starting his day earlier.
He has unicyle before school and so I picked up our sweet younger neighbor girl.
When she got into my car I asked her how she was and she replied she was good.
This immedietly sent my child, still worry eyed, into, “I am not ok! I had a dream I killed a guy last night.”
I didn’t realize he murdered someone in his dream and now I am watching him in the rear view mirror with my worry eyes.
She says, “I don’t see how that is bad for YOU! I mean, you did the killing.”
He says, “I couldn’t get the hole dug big enough.”
She says, “That is a mortal sin.”
He says, “Huh? It was a DREAM.”
She says, “Well, we are Catholics and now you need to go confess to a priest.”
He says, “I am not confessing about something I did in a dream! I mean I am just as disturbed by why I would even do it in my dream but I don’t need a priest.”
She says, “I still don’t know why you are bothered because you got to do the killing.”
I may be laughing all day about this.
My kid is so bothered as he wouldn’t hurt a flea.
Our sweet pup caught a squirrel yesterday, much to her and my surprise. The little guy lived but we kept calling our fluffy poodle harmless dog a “murderer” and “killer” all evening because none of us thought she had it in her.

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Our youngest had to go and make sure the squirrel was ok. Add to that and all three boys and Jim have worked for two straight days with shovels building trails in the woods to ride dirt bikes on. I am sure it was all the dirt they moved and our silly dog catching a squirrel.
I hope.

Yeah, I am Sharing This

I know I am not a food blogger.

I am sharing a Sunday dinner recipe after a conversation at dinner last night with a friend who said she has never made one.
I make several variations of pot roasts, one of Jim’s favorite dinners, but here is how I make a really easy red wine roast.

This is so easy and my house smells like my Aunts flat in Chicago circa 1984.

Here goes and remember, I am not a chef.

Pot Roast

I tell stories so here is my pot roast story.

It isn’t too late to make one today!

Beef roast (you choose)
Olive oil or butter
1/2 cup flour
Container of mushrooms
Bag of baby carrots (I know but it is easy)
Two onions chopped
Olive oil or butter
Salt, pepper, thyme (I use no measurements so just use based on how much you like the seasoning, or your blood pressure ;)
Heavy red wine like a cab

Turn on oven to 350
Salt and pepper roast (I use a lot because it will also season the gravy)
dust with flour and sear in a large pot with butter or oil on all sides.
While I have the roast searing on the last end, and the bottom of the pot is mostly empty, I drop in chopped onions, baby carrots, and mushrooms and keep the pan HOT so I can brown the veggies a bit.   Sometimes I add a little more oil or butter to keep them beautiful.

When the onions have cooked clear and there is some browning showing on the carrots and mushrooms pour wine all over the roast and veggies. If I am cooking a large roast that is often more than half a bottle. Sprinkle in Thyme. Add water to fill pot about half way up the roast.
Put a lid on it and stick it in the oven.
Often I put in baby potatoes as well that way I have an entire meal in one pot.
Today, my boys were talking about mashed potatoes so I am making those on the stove.
Cooking time? It depends.
We like the kind of roast that falls apart, (I know, but that is how we like it.) It depends on the size of the roast. I have learned that if I give it 3 1/2 hours I can’t go wrong. I check it once in a while to make sure it doesn’t dry out. Add a little water if it is getting low.

Gravy?
Easy, just make a roux. A roux I said. Just cracks me up how many people don’t know how to make gravy!
When the roast is done take out the meat and veggies and let them rest on a platter.
Put the pan on the stove with the drippings and liquid and turn it up. I leave what is left of the onions in the pot, which may not be much, and I may do a rolling boil until it cooks down to the amount of gravy I think I want.
Sometimes I have to add a little more wine.
This is Sunday dinner! It may get postponed because we are busy and things may dry up a bit. Just add more wine or water.

I love easy pot roast. She is a patient dinner.

While you are waiting for it to boil take some flour or cornstarch in a coffee cup and add cold water and whisk with a fork until it is smooth. While the pan is boiling whisk in a little of the flour/corn starch at a time until you get the right consistency for the gravy you want. Taste. Add more salt or pepper as needed.
That is it.
We always do a potato with this either in the pot whole or mashed and green beans.
Things I do sometimes because I SUCK at following directions and if you are a rule follower you will hate how I share a recipe but here goes.
Often I will use chicken broth instead of water.  Water and some chicken bouillon works too.  You read that right, chicken broth in a beef roast.

It adds sweetness and layers.
My family loves baby organic carrots and I have learned to accept that a bag of pre-washed, pre-peeled carrots are doing me a huge favor with my time. Also, two bags makes for four happy (some little) men.
I also have had blood pressure issues and when I am running high I cut out the salt and add another onion or four.

I also used a bottle of Naked Wines Arabella Cabernet.

It is amazing!

NakedWines.com is offering my readers a HUGE discount to give them a try.

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Click the picture to get to the website

Naked Wines offer great discounts and prices on wines that are chosen to sell directly to their customers under their NakedWines brands.  

They have “Angels” that help choose wines from wineries that you may not be able to find in your area.  It is a whole network of people that enjoy wine and help review the bottles so you can make good decisions from the comfort of your home!

THE.  BEST.  CUSTOMER.  SERVICE.  EVER.

The UPS man brings a case of wine to the house?  Like, perfect!

Abbie Gale

allththatmakesyou.com

 

 

 

 

Secret Guilty Mom Confessions

Hello, my name is Abbie.

I have a secret guilty mom confession.

I have a secret cabinet in my kitchen that my kids don’t know that opens.  

Actually, there are two cabinets that look like panels.

In one I keep Scotch tape and scissors and the other everything I need to make S’mores.

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Today I couldn’t get my pants to button. I tried the Scotch tape but it wont hold. I am going to notch the waist with my scissors, so I can sit down.

It is a good thing I have this secret stash because God knows without my hidden cabinets I would have never found Scotch tape or scissors in a house with three kids.

I have a belly full of Smores from lunch and now all I need is to make out with someone with the stomach flu.

Anyone? Anyone else have a secret stash from the kids?    

Here are some stories that might make you laugh

The “Stuff” My Kid Says is Funnier Than Your Dad’s

Epic Embarrassing Night Again, Enjoy

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PS If you are a publisher or producer email me and I will give you my phone number. If you are Child Protective Services email me and I will give you the phone number of someone I don’t like. If you want to come and help me fold clothes and put them away I will give you my address and a big kiss.