This Place is Possessed, Halloween Possessed. Halloween Decorating Ideas

Houston, we have a problem. The smoke detector battery is dying.

It keeps making that horrible beeping sound.

That loud sound keeps making ALL my Halloween scenes go off at the same time.

Witch Rat

Imagine three electronic cats screeching, a skeleton head singing “I aint got no body…” (David Lee Roth and one of my personal favorites, decorations not recording artists) a bag of rats shaking and making a squealing sound,

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A skeleton in a mirror screaming “Let me outta here!!!”

Love it when people ask to use our powder room.  They look at me a little funny when I follow them in with a camera.

Love it when people ask to use our powder room. They look at me a little funny when I follow them in with a camera.

An urn chanting about death, a spider that keeps dropping down a wall…

YOU GET THE POINT.

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I need to change the battery in the smoke detector but its ten feet in the air and the ladder that can reach it is at the barn.

Houston, we have a nervous condition now.

I do get a few hours of quiet when the three boys are in school, normally.

Skeleton

HALLOWEEN Decorating Abbie Gale allthatmakesyou.com

Who am I kidding?

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There is no normal around here.

Abbie Gale

allthatmakesyou.com

Like and subscribe to my Facebook page (I am on there all day): All That Makes You
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Email me at: allthatmakesyousmile at gmail dot com

PS If you are a publisher or producer email me and I will give you my phone number. If you are Child Protective Services email me and I will give you the phone number of someone I don’t like. If you want to come and help me fold clothes and put them away I will give you my address and a big kiss.

 

 

Summer Vacation Ideas and Zombies

“Hey boys! Look at this! We can do a night tour of Alcatraz! The boat pulls up for the tour behind Alcatraz on the loading docks!”

Nine year-old, “Ummm, no.”
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Twin 1 at 14 years-old, “No. Freaking. Way.”

Me, “It would be soooo cool!”

Other twin, “Are you out of your mind? You clearly don’t play the video games we play set in Alcatraz AT NIGHT.”

Nine year old, “If you buy me multiple guns and let me take them with me I might go. (Giggles)”.

Twin 1, “they wont help with the zombies much and they wont help AT ALL with the ghosts.”

Nine year-old, “Yeah, true dat. Let’s just skip Alcatraz. Didn’t you say Ghiradelli was in San Francisco too? We can just do chocolate instead.”

Wimpy kids.

What else should we include in our summer San Francisco/Yosemite trip?
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2013 Christmas Letter

Merry Christmas 2013 edition!

For the first time since I was 11, I didn’t mail Christmas cards last year. Yes, I mailed my own when I was in elementary school. Stamps were cheap back then and how did I not become the next Martha Stewart?

So no, I wasn’t mad at you.  Yes, we’re still married.  No, Abbie isn’t in a funny farm.  I was just thinking the Christmas cards are a lot of work if we weren’t going to MAKE IT TO CHRISTMAS…in case the Mayans were right.

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I was also busy planning a 40th birthday party/fundraiser for Jim and me.  Isn’t that what you do when your 40th birthday falls on the Mayan end of the world?  Our friends teased I planned the whole Mayan thing so I would never turn 40.  Jim also turned 40 on December 26th but no one really cares about that since it is the day after Christmas.  The “Annoying Christmas Letter” is baaaaaaack, so put us back on your list you fool!!!!!

I decided we needed to do something unusual this year, as if the Christmas card from the clueless puppy wasn’t unusual and I would bet we are the only folks who sent a Christmas card where we discussed our sex education “talk” with our boys.  “Yes boys, we were lucky we only had to do THAT twice to get three kids.”

 

I went to the world of Etsy and found this lovey lady and asked her to “cartoon” us all for the Christmas cards this year.  I sent her off multiple pictures of each of us and then I panicked!  We do have a matching set of 14 year-olds.  What if she only draws one?  I wake up and resend her a photo collage and explain we have two pubescent boys and one girl lizard named “Bubba” and one girl dog who thinks she is a human boy.

Then the drawing came via email and I was so excited, except she had my hair all wrong.  I am not even going to discuss all of our noses and Jim wouldn’t be happy with how she brushed his hair back and come on…if I am going to be a cartoon I am going to be as skinny as I want to be, right?

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So.  I.  Photoshopped.  A.  Cartoon.  Of.  Us.  I did.  And we are so cute, now!  I have also hit a new low in my Photoshop insanity.

 

We have all been growing up and the “littles” are getting to be “bigs.”

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There have been girlfriends and dances and school trips out of State.  There has been trips to Disney and Texas and our usual places.  Jim is still doing his same job but more musculoskeletal work because he finished his fellowship.  I have taken up blogging to flex my brain but I still refuse to master grammar and punctuation and somehow my readers have learned to find it endearing, or feel bad for my education.  Now when Jim teases me my writing is like an “ugly porn star” (the writing being the star and the ugly my punctuation) I get to say, “Well, I WAS quoted by CNN.(Here)”  It was about my love of Botox and all the silly reasons women should get it such as their husbands suddenly think they are geniuses as the wives can’t make the “You are a dumba$$” face at them anymore.  I was still quoted by CNN and that is all that matters, right?

 

This new blogging adventure for our family has caused some excitement as Peter thinks he is famous.  DO NOT BURST HIS BUBBLE.  I am cool still in ONE of our boy’s eyes, albeit for a short period of time, but I will take it.  The older boys are still speaking to me despite my stories about their sperm diameter fears post health class “fish” talk.

 

Mostly though, blogging helps me to chronicle our family story as the boys are growing up, let’s face it, I am never going to make a scrap book.  Jim has enjoyed my blog because he gets to tell people he was in Redbook Magazine on the “hottest husbands” page.  It is true, but the picture of us and my quote is about tips for a lasting relationship.

Redbook Hottest Husbands 2013

Don’t burst his bubble either. 

I may laugh forever when the sweet little southern cashier at our grocery store rang me up for three of the exact magazines and she paused and said, (with her adorable accent) “You are buying three of these Redbooks. (lowers head and looks out of the top of her eyes) You must be in it.”  I smiled eagerly and said, “Yep!”  She mumbled, “Figures.  I am not surprised.” and kept ringing me up with the poop face shaking her head.  Only one time did I have to pull my boys out of the magazine section at that store giggling their heads off.  Just once!

 

In the age of Twitter, Facebook and Instagram we would like to share

some of our “moments in time” with you from the last two years.

 

Left my kids for three hours to go on date with Jim. Three boys ate 42 cookies. For.T.two. Is this normal? They had dinner first! #growingboys

 

“If you had a sister wife you could rub my back and she could get my coffee.” -My (almost deceased) Husband

Can you put in requests to come back as the husband next time?    #LorenaBobbitt

 

“Does this make me look like a flesh eating skeleton?” Said Peter while holding his lips up with his fingers.

Me, “Ummmm, no?”

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Peter, “Then do I look like a drunk teenager?” #IDidBuyHimTheZombieBook”She’sNotYourMommyAnymore”

 

“I am so sick of girls asking me for my phone number. This one is in high school.”  -Avery

Help. They are babies still. Like, 7th grade babies. I am having braces put on them next week and going to Tractor Supply and buying them new clothes.  #UnfortunateThatRedneckIsTheNewBlack

 

I have changed names to protect the innocent.

Me, “Hello.”

Her, “Hello! I am Mandy from Laadiedaa School. Thank you so much for contacting us online. I am here to help walk you through the process and help get you set up!”

Me, “From who?”

Her, “Ladddiedaa School.”

Me, “Huh?”

Her, “The application you filled out online”

Me, “This is Abbie.”

Her, “Yes, Hello!”

Me, (so confused) “I didn’t fill out an online school application.”

Her, “Well that is how I obtained your phone number. You have a son correct?”

Me, “Yes, I have three boys and I enrolled two of them in a new school already and I did not fill out a school application with you online.”

Her, “It was filled out for Peter who is currently enrolled in 2nd grade.”

Me, “Ohhhhhh.”

Her, “Laadiedaa School is an online school that has real face time with teachers and a customized lesson plan.”

Me, “Yeah, ummm Peter must have filled that application out and…HE IS GOOD. We aren’t having our eight year-old dropping out and taking online classes for second grade. Sorry about the confusion. He doesn’t think his current teachers know enough about reptiles to meet his academic goals. He pimps them occasionally and has deemed them unworthy and has been shopping around for new teachers Sorry we wasted your time.”

So that is how my mornings went. I only changed the name of the school because Peter is indeed guilty in this story.  #TheyShouldHireHim

 

We are no longer referring to our 2013 trip to Disney as such. It is now being called, “The Trip that WE Shut Down Orlando International Airport. Come on, are you really surprised?

Picture this…additional TSA agents called to our conveyor belt while our carry on items were inside the xray machine. Entire HOUR long line behind us waiting, waiting. More TSA agents called. Our items still in machine. Big boys are so upset and “its all my fault!” When the agents began taking pictures of the monitor of the X-Ray machine they redirected everyone behind us. When they started calling more people I bent over and whispered in Peter’s ear that I was sorry and that I will buy him a new one but they were probably going to take it. He was trying to be so tough but he is only eight. He put his fingers in the corner of his eyes to try and hide it from his brothers but the tears wouldn’t stop and they noticed. Now it was “All Peter’s fault!” I gave him lots of hugs and tried to lighten the mood because EVERYONE in line behind us is clearly watching too much “Homeland” and giving us all the evil stink eye. I now cannot stop laughing.

Thank you TSA agents for laughing in a huddle too!

Clearly they were all little boys once who had a wooden toy musket with a steel barrel.

It is soooooo big it wouldn’t fit in the suitcase. I boxed it and told the agent at the desk we would need to check it and he said that it was fine because it was boxed and to tell the folks before we get in the line. I did but that guy told me they would confiscate it and we could NOT take it. I whispered it in E’s ear and I saw the heartbreak in his eyes. So I just put it up there and decided to let them tell me to toss it.  It worked because they shuffled me back to ticketing, let me check it and escorted me back through security and let the boys hang out with TSA.

We all eventually laughed about it, but boy are the big guys wound tight. I think they would turn me into Homeland Security. I had them lecture me to stop calling it a “pistol.”

You know that if we weren’t already on a terrorist watch list from Peter constantly searching online for things like “how to make a flamethrower” and “turning a bbq lighter into a combustion gun,” we are now.  #WeAreNotTerroristWeAreRednecks

So Jim partakes in gift buying for the boys this year. I am delighted after complaining I needed help. I’m now thinking he was being a bit passive aggressive in order to keep me from asking for help again after the telescope he was in charge of picking out arrived and it needs it own zip code in the house…or I have been buying really lame gifts all these years?  We will be needing an observation dome inserted into our roof as the “star gazing” telescope is NOT portable to actually go outside to look at stars. May be cheaper to have a mural done on kitchen ceiling. He also picked out the microscope that I’m told he can check for cancer cells and then asked if I wanted anything “biopsied.” So he asked a pathologist what microscope to get out kids for Christmas and I am now guessing he has a friend who is an astronaut he pimped when picking out this telescope.   #TheyHaven’tBeenTouchedSinceJan2

Getting into shower now washing machine broken!!!!! Guy will be here in a few and I would like to wash the cricket, worm guts, lizard and frog germs off of me. I feed baby crickets to raise into big crickets and then I feed baby crickets to frogs and big crickets to lizards. Do you have any idea how bad collard greens smell when food processed to freeze? Yes, I am processing and freezing collard greens for lizards.

I need a mother of boys therapist.  #INowCraveUnhealthyFood

Hello, my name is Abbie. Help.

I have a secret cabinet in my kitchen that my kids don’t know that opens. Actually, there are two cabinets that look like panels . In one I keep Scotch tape and scissors and the other everything I need to make Smores.

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Today I couldn’t get my pants to button. I tried the Scotch tape but it wont hold. I am going to notch the waist with my scissors, so I can sit down.

It is a good thing I have this secret stash because God knows without my hidden cabinets I would have never found Scotch tape or scissors in a house with three kids.

I have a belly full of Smores from lunch and now all I need is to make out with someone with the stomach flu.

Anyone? Anyone else have a wicked sweet tooth?  #ICraveSmoresBecauseItDoesn’tLookLikeLizardSalad

 

They spent the whole morning working on this and I know Peter is still in pjs, no stopping him when he gets an idea.

It is a fully functioning crossbow. Finally found something to do with the bag of chopsticks…they sharpened them and did this? They told me no worries because they will only shoot “bad guys” in the eye.

Why am I happy?

He asked me where a Pez dispenser was yesterday and thankfully I asked why…

He was going to make something that shoots knives.

Anyone want to chip in and send me off to a spa out west for a week so I can remember what being a girl is? Anyone?

I wake up and fish worms out of potatoes to feel lizards and I have a cricket farm and incubators in the basement.

I don’t even know who I am anymore.

I got an email from a national talk show about my fortieth birthday being on the end of the world. Good Lord will the whole country get to see what’s going on inside these walls? Peter tells me crickets are the lowest critter in the food chain and that if we needed to we could eat the 600 crickets we currently have. He also told me Lilly can eat them but she won’t now (he’s tried) we have to wait until the Mayan end of the world and she has to eat the crickets because that’s all we have to feed her.  #LillyIsSoHappyTheMayansWereWrong

 

I’m driving.

Peter announces there is a black widow crawling up my seat.

I say, “Awesome. Seriously? Can you kill it.”

Peter shuffles around a bit and then says, “I can’t reach it. It crawled into your purse.”

Me, “Of course it did.”  #IBoughtANewPurse

It is so the third day of school as evident by our conversation in the car on the way there. Listening to radio and Peter says, “What is so great about being in a desert with a horse with no name? It doesn’t even make sense. Can we listen to something from this century?”  #IWantADNAMaternityTest

I just told the boys that I sent the boogers I found on the wall off for DNA testing. I also asked them if anyone wants to come clean now.  #TheGreatWallOfBoogers

So proud of Avery and Mitchell. They were chosen as the students of the months for sixth grade. They came home so excited!  Normally it is one boy and one girl but as one of my boys said, “They tried and tried to come up with a girl but there weren’t any good ones.” Then the other guy said, “Yeah, so he (pointing to his twin brother) gets to be the girl.”   #TheyMightBeMine

This morning we had a particularly hard time. Big boys were wild. It was like a fraternity party. Running around, snapping each other with rubber bands and laugh/screaming in the car on the way to school. My regular requests to “tone it down” and” quit yelling in small spaces” was met with smart comments, eye rolling and then belly laughs at comments that weren’t meant for me to hear.
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I decided I would give them a taste of their own medicine.

Remember, I am not even allowed to say goodbye when they get out at the drop off line at school. As soon as that door opened up under he school awning and in front of the middle school students I began yelling in a crazy muppet voice, “Bye, bye, bye, bye!!!! Bye!…” Only one was out of the suburban and the other was half way out. The one that was out pivoted and face dove over his brother that was in process of exiting the suburban. There you have a giant twin meatball rolled up and they managed to shut the door. Then the frantic, “What are you doing?! Are you crazy?!”

I’m holding up the whole line and kids are looking at me in my pjs in the drivers seat. I was invisible every day before when I never talked.

I calmly say, “That is how you guys act and you never listen to me when I ask you to dial it down. Now get out and go to school. It’s funny and every kid knows what it’s like having a parent. Out!  And have a good day.” so they open the door and I yell, (again) “Bye-BYE! Bye!!!!!!!!! Bye!” this time I made sure they shut the door and I locked it while simultaneously rolling down all the windows.

Flash forward to my awesome afternoon. I have spent the day getting a much needed root canal that was leading me towards a life in prison due to my very short temper and lack of patience with three boys. The kids are home and I am sharing the front porch with Mitchell. He says, “You know that crap you pulled on Avery and I at school today?”

I say, (with a very coy smile) “Yes. Do you get my point?”

He says, “Yeah, you were right my friends did think it was funny…when I told them you drink booze the whole way to school in the morning.”

Never mind root canal relief…I’m sure I will get a shortened sentence due to it being my first offense.  #ICan’tWin

 

There is something to be be said about an uneventful day…I thought. Took Peter to elementary school roller-skating party. He had a little girl who followed him the entire night. Everywhere. He came up to me and whispered in a desperate voice, “I need a buck!!!!  Mom please! Just one buck, for a song dedication! Please!”  The little girl was standing on the other side of him trying to act like she didn’t know what was going on, sucking her thumb!  I couldn’t say no and so I give him a dollar and then I hear the DJ start, “I’m Sexy and I Know It.”

Not my proudest moment when the girls mom came over and mentioned how times have changed. I heard a little boy come up to Peter and this little girl and asked them if they were, “In a relationship”. They are in first grade!  #HeAskedMeToBuyHimGoldSpeedos

 

Avery, “When I grow up I’m going to buy the house next door and live in it.” Me, “I love that idea!” Mitchell, “I’m going to buy the house on the other side and live in it.”  I am all smiles. Peter, “I’m going to live in this house with my own wife and family!” Me, “That’s awesome but where am I going to live?”  Avery, ” We going to put you in Bermuda Village!” (this is a retirement community in our neighborhood.) I look at them with mouth hanging open looking very sad. Mitchell, “Don’t worry, we’ll come by and feed you pudding.”  #IHaveToBeNicerToThem

 

We hope you have all that makes you smile in life

We are so blessed and especially blessed to have each other

Jim, Abbie, Avery, Mitchell and Peter

Please be Safe and Well and Please Keep in Touch

 

 

Hug Your Kids Long

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While driving to our youngest’s bus stop I noticed a Dad who is always there with his two boys waiting in their car, wasn’t. This is how I gauge whether or not we missed the bus on its last stop.
I leave earlier or later depending on all the kids morning activities.
This is the happy bus stop as it is the “sleep in 15 minutes later” bus stop on Thursdays.
I don’t know the folks at this stop as it is out of my neighborhood. I do know the Dad is there everyday. He gives his boys not only hugs but long hugs. He pauses and draws them even closer and whispers into their ears something that is only intended for them and then a kiss. EVERY. DAY.
I marvel at the time he takes to say goodbye, while a busy highway packed with people going to work in one direction and people getting to school in the other, is paused for the flashing lights and the stop arm of the bus.
I had never seen a Mom there.
I assumed she worked early or late the night before or maybe there wasn’t a Mom around anymore, judging how much the Dad doted on them.
When I pulled in I said to my youngest, “I don’t think we missed the bus. Maybe she came early. The boys and their Dad aren’t there.”
My sweet nine year-old said, “Oh Mom, I forgot to tell you, their Mom died this week.”
Then it hit me.
The tears and crying.
These are sweet boys that would get out of their Dad’s car and talk to my boys and pet our dog.
Those sweet boys.
That father.
Their Mom must be the Mom that I didn’t know that I heard died of breast cancer this week. She had been fighting it for years. Probably had been fighting it all of these lovely boys memory.
Once I dropped off the older boys at their school I finally had myself pulled together when our sweet electrician Earlie called.
If you ever read my story about the “That Time I Almost Rendered Earlie Late” you know he is helping us out often.
He is working on the new property we bought making sure as I put it, “no little boys electrocute themselves turning on barn lights while they are covered in water and mud.”
Earlie is a very southern gentleman, sometimes I need him to repeat himself, and he told me he wouldn’t be out to the barn-house for a few days because of his Uncle’s passing.
He began to get all choked up when he said he was one of his best friends and that he and his dad were a constant in his life.
So we both cried on the phone.
I cried for little boys who lost their Mom and for good Dads. Earlie cried for what he told me was an Uncle who treated him like a son.
We all have so much to be thankful for, even in loss.
We do have each other and we have the thought and prayers of people we may not even know are praying and sending good thoughts our way. I am thankful that I have a painful reminder that life is sadly unexpected and to let my boys know that even if they lost a parent that we have set up arrangements and that they will be loved and taken care of.
Some mornings we bicker about homework or quiz each other on test topics. This morning we talked about our blessings and how we don’t know what someone is going through and we should always hug long and give kisses.

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After I posted this I became aware of a Facebook page celebrating Melissa Clark and a way to donate to her young sons.
Melissa Clark Memorial Page

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Abbie Gale
All That Makes You…
allthatmakesyou.com

My kids are Auditioning for Jacka$$ 2023 Edition, EVERY DAY

Well, here is the story about probably the most inappropriate thing that was ever said in a Build-A-Bear.

Because what my funny kids did to me there ten years ago apparently wasn’t embarrassing enough.

Because my kids are auditioning for Jacka$$ 2023, EVERYDAY.

Our youngest has had a bunny from Build-A-Bear since before he was born.

When I was pregnant with him I took our four year-old twins to build “the baby in Mamma’s belly” a stuffed animal to bring to the hospital.

It was a very sweet day.

But you aren’t here for that.

The “embarrass Abbie moment” is coming up.

First, you have to see I am TRYING to raise good and normal boys.

Trying.

They made a wish for their little brother while holding the little red Build-A-Bear hearts.

They gave them a kiss and the two hearts were sewn up into the bunny.

When Peter began talking he named his bunny, well…Bunny.

After the lady at the store filled the bunny up with fluff the big boys went to bathe and brush the bunny. If you have ever been at a Build -A-Bear you know there is a fake bathtub that is really a table that looks like a cartoon bathtub and instead of spraying water it shoots air to fluff up your new friends fur.

Build-A-Bear Bunny

Cute right?

Until I looked over and one of my twins was LAYING ON THE FAKE BATHTUB while his brother was giggle screaming blasting him in the face with the air nozzle.

No.  There are no pictures of that.  I was too busy wobbling over to stop them.  Remember, the child came out 10 1/2 pounds which is why I wrote “My Bellybutton is Now a Cupholder.” Click this for THAT “funny” story (at my expense again)

So we laughed for a few years about that and our youngest really begins to love his “Bunny.”

Bunny Love Collage

He loves it so much that when he turns two he wants a “new” bunny that he names New Bunny.

Adorable, right?

Eventually there is a birthday party at the store for a friend and he picks out…you guessed it, a NEW “New Bunny!”

For all these  years the trio of amigos sleep with him every night.  They go on trips in suitcases and they are well loved.

For being a tough guy, he is shameless about having his bunnies with him.

He also spends a great deal of time putting them into situations where “kill the bunny” would be an appropriate title.   The kid has issues to work through with having two big brothers beating him down all day.

Embarrassing

When I found Bunny in this “situation” I feared Peter had found a copy of “Fifty Shades of Grey” so I wrote a little ditty called “Poor Husbands and their Wives’ Naughty Books” and you can read that by clicking HERE and read the funny about the Bethenny Frankel show calling me about that piece HERE.

Flash forward ten years and we are at the mall Saturday buying the big boys new tennis shoes.

Peter is being patient  but does ask to go into Build-A-Bear.

If you have a youngest child, that means you know you are done having babies these things are bitter sweet.

This was probably going to be the last time any of my kids will want to go into that store.

Even his big brothers recognized it.

He asked to get another bunny.

Love.

I said yes.

All choked up.  All of my three boys there.  All.  Choked.  Up.

His big brothers and I talked about when they laid onto the bathtub and how their little brother’s first bunny has two hearts inside instead of one.

Build-A-Bear Fun

We stuffed his new bunny and went to the register to pay in a long line, the kind of line the store only has on a Saturday.

It was our turn.

The young girl smiles big and leans in and asks sweetly,

“Does your new bunny have a name?”

I am waiting for the “New, New, New Bunny” reply when his raspy little voice next to me says,

 

“Herbert…”

All I can think to do is dive into the imaginary fox hole cartoon style because I know what is coming next and judging by the looks on his brothers faces, they would be jumping in that fox hole right next to me.

We all know what “Herbert’s” last name is in our house.  Herbert is the guy from “Family Guy.”

Actually, as soon as “Herbert” was said one of the twins RAN out of the store.

I was making the “Nooooooooo….!” face mixed with the poop face.

He says,

“Herbert!  Herbert the Pervert!”

Herbert The Pervert

You know this guy…

Family Guy’s Herbert the Pervert

I am now making the squinty eyes smile face at the sweet sales girl.

The sweet 20 something year old  know now she must have flunked out of teachers school sales girl says,

“Well, I guess you won’t be sleeping with HIM tonight!”

(wink wink)

I instantly wanted to high five her.

Like jump up and give her the “we women unite against these smart as$ed boys” high five!

I also strangely wanted to high five my own little smart as$ed little boy because he did that thing his mamma does that makes me, his mamma, giggle.

I like to say things to make someone uncomfortable and keep a straight face.

You know like the time the twins stuck their heads in the urinals at preschool.

YOU KNOW!

When I told the teachers that I dunk their heads in the toilet when they have an accident to try and explain WHY my kids would dip their hair in the school urinals.

JUST GO READ THIS AND IT IS WAYYYYY FUNNIER THAN THIS, but come back, ok?

His timing.  The pause and then the straight, matter of fact delivery of “Herbert.  Herbert the Pervert” with not a smirk in his freckled little face just made me think that they did indeed give me the right baby back after they cleaned all the baby juices off of him that day he was born.  I am still a little dazed after giving birth to DOUBLE DIGITS, AGAIN!

He not only meant to deliver uncomfortableness to this poor sweet girl, he was trying to embarrass his brothers and me in front of this giant line of folks.

My tag line on my blog and Twitter and Facebook and all my accounts is usually something along the lines of, “Abbie Gale is a writer & humorist at AllThatMakesYou.com while raising the next cast of Jacka$$ while married to a Dr who asks her to cover her cleavage as it reminds him of work…”

I am not kidding folks.  

My life is a sitcom.

I burst into squeals between the sales girls response and the fact that my nine year-old pimped his brother to the point he sprinted out of the store and he was also able to keep a straight face when I was reacting to just, “Herbert.”

It was a fine line to not draw attention and get the gal fired…

(for being awesome and then I would have to hire her to correct my punctuation on my blog but we would be fast best friends because she is awesome, like me, the farm animal incubator)

…and still let her know that she rocked dishing it right back to my little stinker.

Yes, little tear in my eye when I realized our Build-A-Bear family circle started and ended in a ten year span, at the very same store where it all began.

Who would have ever thought two little boys, that almost made me run out of that very same store ten years ago while they crawled onto the “bathtub”, would eventually be running out embarrassed their little brother was telling the store clerk that he didn’t name his bunny “New New New Bunny” but instead “Herbert the Pervert.”

Proud.  Mom.  Moment.

Also I am pretty sure we are on a “no serve” list at “The Bear” after this one.

I am ok with it.  I have a vacation home spent on Build-A-Bears.

Abbie Gale
allthatmakesyou.com
Abbie Gale at allthatmakesyou.com

Like and subscribe to my Facebook page (I am on there all day): All That Makes You
Twitter @allthatmakesyou
Follow me Instagram: (where I hang out): allthatmakesyou
Email me at: allthatmakesyousmile at gmail dot com
PS If you are a publisher or producer email me and I will give you my phone number. If you are Child Protective Services email me and I will give you the phone number of someone I don’t like. If you want to come and help me fold clothes and put them away I will give you my address and a big kiss.
I also Sell Rodan and Fields skin care products and if there is anything I can help you with to make you feel better about how you look please let me know.
Rodan and Fields Amp Relaunch
When I look good I feel good.
Click on the picture above to learn more about devises and products you can order to use in your own home.
You might enjoy these stories and further proof the kids are all NUTS, (and they might get it from me.)