Counterfeit Kid


Me, “You are too young for us to go white water rafting in Yosemite.” Ten year-old, “You need to get me a fake birth certificate so I can do things I want to do. Make me thirteen.” Me, “But they will see you have no markings of puberty like armpit hair.” Ten year-old, “They will […]

Inherited Funny, or Crazy but Funny Either Way 


Me screaming in the hall at the closed garage door a few minutes ago.  “Drag the body to the top of the stairs and I will help pull him down! Keep him upright so you don’t get any more blood on the carpet! Hurry up! I think I hear people. Do you know where the […]

O Brother 


There was much commentary when my husband and I saw this street sign today.    All of it was done in the voices of “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” Characters saying things like,  “We gots a Rainbow Street already but that don’t mean we can’t have a second Second Rainbow Street.”  “Why, I believe you […]

Summer Vacation Ideas and Zombies


“Hey boys! Look at this! We can do a night tour of Alcatraz! The boat pulls up for the tour behind Alcatraz on the loading docks!” Youngest, “Ummm, no.” Twin 1, “No. Freaking. Way.” Me, “It would be soooo cool!” Other twin, “Are you out of your mind? You clearly don’t play the video games […]

No Denying This, Son


“No denying this son. There is only one rear end in this house that only takes up 25% of the copy machine glass. You need a Clorox wipe so I can fax again. I don’t care if I gave you the idea when you said you needed a picture of your lizard for school. Well […]