If you know me…at all…you know I would rather swim in acid than exercise at the YMCA or go to Walmart.
Our 13 year olds have heard of this “Black Friday” and begged all day for us to go see the people camping and fighting, like everyone on television was talking about.
A gentleman approaches me, stops, looks me up an down.I make eye contact and smile. I can’t help it. It’s a reflex from working retail forever.He says, “Mmmmm, m, mmmm”I smile again at him but more of the smile a toddler makes when they are pooping their diaper.
He says, “You married?”
I say, (in a very surprising exasperated tone which I cannot explain) “Oh yes. Yep. Married.”
He says in awesome Chef from South Park voice, “We’ll that’s a damn shame. Your a fiiinnne lady. Uh-huh.”
I smile now in the franken-smile that is square. The one you make when the picture taker at school says “smile.”
Eight years ago I walked into our local grocery store.
I, as always, smile while walking past people who are walking out. I can’t help it. I was raised in family businesses and later customer service and sales and it is just how I am wired.
I do all of my shopping and as I am leaving the store the man I passed, when he was walking out, walks back in and hands me a bouquet of flowers.
I was a bit taken aback. I also am AWESOME at wearing my emotions on my face so I am sure I was looking at him like he was nuts.
He said he walked past me and was struck and thought he wanted to talk to me and so he went back in and bought me flowers and was waiting to catch me on the way out.
I looked down at my ring finger.
I said, “That is so sweet. REALLY.”
I pointed to my ring finger and said, “I don’t have my wedding ring on…”
Now I opened up my jacket to reveal my pregnant belly where Peter was growing and hunkering down prepared to not EVER exit.
“…Because I am pregnant and swollen.”
Then I told him that it was awesome that he bought flowers and took a chance like that.
I told him I appreciated it and that he made my day.
I told him to go give the flowers to his mother and that he should do it again to another woman and even again if he has to, because a good SINGLE girl is out there who would be so flattered.
He is lucky I was already married because, it turns out I am bossy and opinionated with all of the advice I was giving out. He totally dodged a bullet that day.
PS I also had a woman compliment my purse at Walmart. Have I found my people? Am I a Walmart person and I didn’t know it? OMG will I show up on one of those Walmart people websites?
Follow me by subscribing. I hate talking to myself.
Email me at: email@example.com