may have sat at a table for ten and been one of only two women and still somehow managed to bring up “Fifty Shades of Grey.” I then tried guessing which of the men looked tired enough to deem that their wives were reading it or had recently read it. This is no small feat considering most radiologists look tired from lack of sunlight and interaction with humans, I may have also mentioned this.
Sunday Dinner Cancelled, Bring Vodka and Mop
It just bounced and as I bent over to pick it up it shot diagonally like a rocket.
So I twisted myself and tried to catch it on the bounce.
Wait that isn’t a bounce!
HOLY CRAP BAGS…IT IS SPRAYING UP MY DRESS AND ALL OVER?
Ikea and Dragons
I keep telling Peter he wont be walking him on a leash if he doesn’t stop “loving” on him so much. I told him that the little guy is adjusting to his new home and needs to stay in his cage but I found Peter asleep like this…
Revenge on a Parent by Way of Birthday Gift for Kid
It just began spewing jelly beans.
They were skipping across the countertops like Mexican jumping beans and then hitting the hard floor and rolling and bouncing everywhere.
I am now cursing it and my amazing friends that bought it.
The Father I Used to Have (and Sea Monkeys)
I finally am able to inhale enough to exhale a sentence from my hypervenhilating…
“YOU DRANK MY PET SEA MONKEYS!”
His face.
My God…his face.
His eyes were huge and his head led his body into the kitchen sink.
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