I want to create a place for people to check after they have read the days news in the car pickup line at school or on the side of a practice field and now you need a smile.
Things Every Mom Says Or Just Mine
“Honey, I HAD you to do the dishes. You should be thanking the dishes. It is because of the dishes you exist.”
Every year I think my mother was smarter than the year before.
Here is a story about my mom called “Back Back Before You Could Just Go And Buy Boobies” that includes the obvious mention of boobs and chicken poop and how you can use one to get the other.
Our Most Embarrassing School Art, To Date Anyway
For all of you with girls I want to remind you that little boys are different. For little boys, that area is a toy that stays with you. To quote one of my kids when they were three, “When can I get one of these BALLS out so I can see what they look like?” Your daughter is putting shoes on her Barbie’s feet right now and I have an anatomically (in)correct foot-less pasta dude on my fridge.
Ellie Mae Takes on NYC
I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO NYC???!!!
With that said, if you see me wandering around NYC aimlessly, do me a favor and yell, “MOM!!!!!! We’re hungry! He broke my Lego Star Wars ship! I can’t poop! I can’t stop pooping! Come and see my cool corn poop!” That way I don’t get homesick.
Also if you see me, please introduce yourself in case I don’t recognize you because you look SO MUCH better in person!
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