Find girls? Why sure if I am a little boy! I will click you and log onto your website via my mom’s accounts because she doesn’t have passwords on HER computer.
Sunday Dinner Cancelled, Bring Vodka and Mop
It just bounced and as I bent over to pick it up it shot diagonally like a rocket.
So I twisted myself and tried to catch it on the bounce.
Wait that isn’t a bounce!
HOLY CRAP BAGS…IT IS SPRAYING UP MY DRESS AND ALL OVER?
Revenge on a Parent by Way of Birthday Gift for Kid
It just began spewing jelly beans.
They were skipping across the countertops like Mexican jumping beans and then hitting the hard floor and rolling and bouncing everywhere.
I am now cursing it and my amazing friends that bought it.
The Father I Used to Have (and Sea Monkeys)
I finally am able to inhale enough to exhale a sentence from my hypervenhilating…
“YOU DRANK MY PET SEA MONKEYS!”
His face.
My God…his face.
His eyes were huge and his head led his body into the kitchen sink.
Why Summer Vacations are Longer for Mother’s of Boys…
I’ve been preparing them. I taught them to make their favorite meal, linguini with clams, because they will get sick of Jim’ eggs.
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