Friday Funny

It is all back to school up in our house. Can’t wait to start writing and sharing more now that the kids have school.
Here is a funny from just last night!

One of the 13 year-old twins, “I told my friends at school I have been missing classes because I am being tested to see if I have anorexia.”
Me, “I guess I can cancel the appointment with the educational psychologist who will give us the outcome of the testing for DYSLEXIA.”
This is an old picture of our youngest. This is not a mirror image of him. He actually wrote across his hat all of the letters backwards and from right to left.

Abbie Gale

Mason Jar Experiment to Extend Summer Vacation

Tomorrow is our official first day of summer vacation for all three of our boys. 20130610-001359.jpg

“Look what I caught last night mom!”

This is what I woke up to yesterday.

I wish we could all keep our happy enthusiasm all summer that we have the first month of summer break.

I have an idea

In my kitchen cupboard I keep a set of my grandmothers green Mason jars.

Summer Dreams bottled up

I don’t really use them but seeing them reminds me of her.

Tomorrow I am going to have our boys write down on a slip of paper

1. At least three things they want to do this summer.

2. Three books they want to read.

3. One nice thing they want to do for someone else.

I am going to do the same.

Then we are going to seal up our ideas and a little of our summer excitement and put it back up on the shelf.

If history has taught me anything it is that about the middle of July we all get a bad case of the “I’m boreds.”

When I start fantasizing about dropping them off at school and hashing out how long I think before the school custodian

calls me to tell me that we have five more weeks of summer vacation, I am going to bring down that jar.

Some things sealed up inside I am hoping we would have done, and we will have a chance to recycle some of that excitement

and the others should give us a chance to see if they are still a priority.

Maybe we will think of totally new things to do.

It seems like a good lesson during a long lesson break.

What things do you have planned this summer?
Abbie Gale at “All That Makes You…”

File this one under “THINK”

Abbie Gale

Abbie can be reached at

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I Need You

For three mornings my husband Jim has listened to what my mornings are like with our kids.

He is on vacation this week and with no where to go, as the kids are not on break.

Today they shamed him into driving them to school. His parting words? “Boarding school cannot possibly cost much more than a really good private school.”

Well, welcome to my world Jim, with three boys who act like it’s Saturday night at a fraternity party, every morning.

Where Avery counts your chews to make sure you don’t over chew and make him late.

Where Peter pterodactyl screams because Avery sits across from him and announcing his every chew.

Where I find Mitchell drinking a cup of coffee and giggling about it and when I tell Peter if he screams one more time I will park him for the evening.

Where I hear Mitchell whisper to Peter he will make it his morning goal to get Peter to scream, so he gets grounded and where Peter dryly get up from the breakfast table and decides to only walk at the speed of a zombie while dragging one leg behind him.

Welcome Jim to what I call a “typical morning.” I hope you don’t hit a deer on your way to school like I did recently, story [here.]

I hope they don’t tell their friends as they get put of the car that you drink “alcohol” all morning and in the car on the way to school just because you yelled out of the window, “bye have a great day!”

Remember Jim, don’t look at them when they exit the car, no talking to them and don’t ever let the radio be on anything “not cool.”

BTW, what was cool yesterday may not be today.

I wonder if they would let just one mom go to a boarding school?

Heck, I’m even willing to learn to punctuate.  Would you write me a letter of recommendation and one for my boys? Can you mention that they act like they drink alcohol every morning so they don’t let them in. You may mention my poor writing skills and you feel I need to go back to school, (or an extended spa break.)

“Have you boys seen my sunglasses?”
Abbie Gale at

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PS If you are a publisher or producer email me and I will give you my phone number. If you are Child Protective Services email me and I will give you the phone number of someone I don’t like. If you want to come and help me fold clothes and put them away I will give you my address and a big kiss.
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We Need a List of all the Bad Words so we Don’t Call the Teacher that Again

Here are a couple language lessons from our kids on words you may not say…

Peter is a sweet boy and a handful, as he always knew far too much for a preschooler.  He can be dangerous to small children as he is always around big kids.

Shooting Gallery

He was invited to a party one summer with other children in preschool.  God has a sense of humor and we know this because when something that should probably not be said out loud, in a large group of people, somehow everyone stops talking all at once…and that one thing, that one that should not be said, is heard and heard by everyone.  That is exactly what happened.  During the loud post “Happy Birthday” singing and waiting for the cake and ice cream suddenly…silence.

Then you hear Peter’s sweet raspy voice loudly and clearly say,

“Well, I know what bad words are.  I know that I can say beaver dam but I cannot ever say D@mn beaver!” 

That is a lesson for us all!

We were all having our bowl of ice cream and hunkered down to watch “The Voice” after holding the DVR season premier over three little boys heads all evening and they were so excited as they love all the judges. At one point one of the judges jokingly called another judge a “bast*rd” for swaying a contestant to be on their team.

One of the older boys (keeping the admission of guilt anonymous to protect him;) snickers,

Jim and I just stare at him with a look of WHAAAT???

Then Jim says,

Peter and I are curled up in a blanket to keep away the ice cream shivers and hiding our laughter.

Jim says, “Stop saying that! It’s a bad word!”

12 years old, “Oh my gosh! It is I had no idea! I have been using it like crazy! I have been calling all the kids at school it! Oh my gosh…I called my teacher a bast*rd! No wonder she was laughing at me…that why all the kids are laughing when I say…your such a bast*rd! Oh no!”

There is no blanket that can contain Jim, Peter’s, mine and the other 12 year olds laughter!

Then the laughing (other) 12 year says, “I have been using it like crazy too!”

Where have we gone wrong with the bigguns?

Here is more about VERY bad words…

Do not read this if you are feeling sensitive or are a “Judgy Judy” or if you don’t have a sense of humor.

Story below and if you dare please keep in mind they are still babies that are learning things in middle school.

Last night we were all in the kitchen. Family banter all around. Then I hear one of the kids call the other a “fa&&ot”…my head spins around…I don’t want to ask what he said in case it was “maggot” and then it will lead to the question, “what did you think I said, mom?” But I have to ask.

Two weeks ago they were calling each other “ba$tard” and when we were like, “whoooooaaaa!” they were mortified it was a bad word and mortified they had called other kids it thinking it was funny and WAYYYYYYY mortified to admit one of them called a teacher it. Clearly they used it wrong and the teacher just laughed at him probably realizing he doesn’t know its a bad word.
Ok, so I ask and I get a nonchalant answer…


I shriek.
Ba$tard was halfway OK.
I mean it wasn’t like they said ret@rded.
They stopped ba$tard it as soon as they found out it was a bad word.
This is NOT.
I repeat the entire conversation about it being a bad word but I emphasize this is a VERY bad word.
They are, again, mortified.

“But we didn’t know. We heard it from our friends! I thought it was just a silly word. YOU NEED TO GIVE US A LIST OF ALL THE BAD WORDS!”

OK, I am the same mother that wouldn’t teach my three boys the proper word for a woman’s anatomy. I know that sounds old fashioned. It’s not that. I am certain I will be on a reality show one day. Not the star but the poor mother that the “stars” are blowing up fireworks in her bedroom in the middle of the night. You give these three boys the “V” word and they can easily slip it in after,

“You’re a giant______”

A list of all the bad words?  Are they crazy!
I say,

“I prefer to just handle it this way. Just ask me next time when you hearr a new word the kids are calling each other at school,”

I asked for it…

”What is a H@ mom?”

Seriously where is my husband at?  I say,

“That TOO is a bad word.”

One asks,

“Well what does it mean?”

I say,

“Someone thats had a LOT of boyfriends.”

and wink at the older boys with a head nod.

“OK, then is BobSaget a bad word too?”
For real? They are either calling each other Bob Saget at school these days or I didn’t hear it right. Did I ask them what they said again? NO!  I just said it was not.
I am trying to catch “hard of hearing” to avoid any more of this.

Friendships, Opinions and Social Media

It is so hard to voice political opinions when you are talking friendships.
You want to respect one another.
I have been very careful to not voice my opinion online.

I was just over on my Facebook page and found so many people I respect and care about are complaining about the outcome of the election.

I keep reading that they are praying.

I pray too, a lot.

I prayed before the election and I hope that what has happened is because of that prayer. I prayed that my three boys would always be safe from conflict.
I don’t pray for husband’s business to be profitable. I pray for our health and for the health of our family and friends.

I even pray that those that aren’t as fortunate as we are can find someone to help them.

I pray that there are resources available for those we love and I pray that our lawmakers will use our tax money to take care of Americans and even help take care of anyone in need, anywhere.

I pray for my dad who has worked hard his whole life and cannot retire because he has a preexisting condition that forces him to work and only take a job that offers the same brand of health insurance.

I thank God regularly that when I was put on bed rest at 13 weeks pregnant with twins, and was told to not name them, that they were born alive.

My health insurance expired because I couldn’t return to work because my babies needed around the clock care and my husband was in medical school.

When a specialist said my tiny baby needed surgery, I began sobbing because I knew we couldn’t afford Cobra insurance coverage.

I pray and thank God regularly that I live in a country that takes care of it’s people.

Twins Bond

I prayed and thanked God for the social worker who came into the room and put her arm around me and said that she would help me fill out the paperwork to have MY government assist us in paying for the surgery. We ended up eventually with five surgeries. Only the first two did we have to have assistance.I was changed that day forever and I still cannot tell this story without crying.I am crying as I write this.

I was a lifelong republican before this experience.

Now I am a listener and a person who doesn’t judge. I don’t even judge based on your affiliation. I vote based on your beliefs and I don’t mean religion. That has nothing to do with how I vote. I vote for the person that is aligned with my convictions, the best another person can be.

I don’t judge. I don’t know what that person endured that made them flee their country for a better life. I know that my ancestors did the same back when people weren’t standing at the borders with guns. They came to America when people called the Irish drunks and the Italians dirty.

How can we forget what our great country was founded on? How can we not realize that complaining about illegals working for below a living wage and at jobs that American’s aren’t interested in doing is wrong. How can we condemn people for wanting an education to better their future generations, despite how they came into our country?

Immigrants, legal or illegal, love our country. That is why they are here. That is why they have enlisted into our armed forces and that is why they want their children to be educated here.

What is a sin is judging others or assuming that someone that has needed assistance is lazy.

I assure you. I am not lazy. My physician husband is not lazy. We needed help when our children were sick. I promise you we have repaid every bit of it back in taxes and in charitable donations and with a smile on our faces.

We believe in paying it forward.

One of the biggest determining factors, when it came to voting, was international relations.

I don’t care about the price of gas. It shouldn’t be cheaper than a gallon of milk.

If we did not reelect Obama so many other countries would have lost faith in what America stands for. No President can accomplish much in the first four years and certainly not after what Obama inherited. I just hope we all pull together as friends and as a country.

I remember how hurt I was when Bush was reelected and so I feel for you. I feel for all of you that are moaning and complaining about your prayers not being answered. Perhaps they were, and you just don’t know it yet.

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If you liked this one or if you didn’t and need to elevate your blood pressure some more head on over to…

Dear Parents of Young Children Who Hate the Idea of Gay Marriage

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