joke

April Fools or Just Any Normal Day Here

April 1, 2013

Some people have their photos on their computer categorized by titles such as… Vacation Baseball Dance Performances Here are some of the photo file names on my computer… WTF Critters Costumes Adventure Seriously? Peter Thinks This Stupid Now today, a very special day in a home of three boys, I shall reflect and share with [...]

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We Need a List of all the Bad Words so we Don’t Call the Teacher that Again

January 4, 2013

what is health education
how to parent
what is parenting
birds and bees

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It’s Just That Kind of Town on Halloween and Every Day

October 26, 2012

“Please Use Honor System.  Put in Yellow Mailbox.” That’s right, honor system.  Just leave what you owe. It’s that kind of town. We live in a little town where when you stop by a pumpkin patch you see lovely pumpkins and gourds.  It’s nice to see people having faith in humanity. Suckers!!!  Good Lord I [...]

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Halloween at our House, You Have Been Warned

September 14, 2012

Dear North Carolina Friends and Family, I am sorry, in advance, for our Halloween display.  You may want to keep your small children from coming over to play at Miss Abbie’s house until after the holiday.  If you decide to still send them*, you may want to talk to them first about Miss Abbie and [...]

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How To Tell Your Lawn Guy You’re Very Sorry

July 20, 2012

He runs over to my side of the car and yells, “It’s out back! It’s the biggest, (he has his arms stretched out as far as they will go) snake I have ever seen!”

I tell him that it isn’t real and that my kids leave it around to scare each other and us and he wasn’t the intended victim person, (but anyone will do.)

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An Update With Nothing Dead to Report

July 17, 2012

Our Tom Sawyer, (Peter) caught a squirrel with his live trap within four hours.

It was immediately let go after enjoying its apple.

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Boy Versus Racoon Versus Macy’s

July 15, 2012

This is me taking my own picture in San Francisco recently. I am smiling because behind is Union Square and I can see Macy’s from my hotel window, all half a dozen or so stories. I was happy because even if I couldn’t be shopping with the people all of the time I could stare at the people all walking around inside like a Richard Scarry Storytime book. I am not a good photographer and so…no Macy’s but I swear it is there…in all its glory!

It makes me happy and don’t judge! I am keeping the economy moving.

Dead former fluffy critters hanging above me with holes where there eyes used to be DOES NOT MAKE ME WARM AND FUZZY!

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Get Some Pants On

July 1, 2012

I may not ever understand my three sons.

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Sunday Dinner Cancelled, Bring Vodka and Mop

June 24, 2012

It just bounced and as I bent over to pick it up it shot diagonally like a rocket.

So I twisted myself and tried to catch it on the bounce.

Wait that isn’t a bounce!

HOLY CRAP BAGS…IT IS SPRAYING UP MY DRESS AND ALL OVER?

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Revenge on a Parent by Way of Birthday Gift for Kid

June 18, 2012

It just began spewing jelly beans.
They were skipping across the countertops like Mexican jumping beans and then hitting the hard floor and rolling and bouncing everywhere.
I am now cursing it and my amazing friends that bought it.

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