I want to create a place for people to check after they have read the days news in the car pickup line at school or on the side of a practice field and now you need a smile.
Epic Embarrassing Night, Again, Enjoy
Yet another awesome moment for me as I love to provide entertainment for my friends in real time and then share them with my friends online.
Last night we went to a dinner party at our club, but really they sat tables up around the pool and tennis courts. It was a beautiful night. Perfect weather, they had live music and ice sculptures and shrimp cocktail, prime rib and even nachos.
You know that based on what I have said I must be beginning another story that includes an awkward Abbie moment. You so wont be disappointed.
Things Every Mom Says Or Just Mine
“Honey, I HAD you to do the dishes. You should be thanking the dishes. It is because of the dishes you exist.”
Every year I think my mother was smarter than the year before.
Here is a story about my mom called “Back Back Before You Could Just Go And Buy Boobies” that includes the obvious mention of boobs and chicken poop and how you can use one to get the other.
Poor Tired Husbands and their Wives’ Naughty Books, My “Fifty Shades of Grey” Experience
I feel like an outcast.
My sweet, southern, girlfriends that I find so refreshing, have a little secret.
You can drive by their brick houses and see that something is going on with the family that lives there. The pansies that were planted last fall are leggy in their flower beds and should have been pulled out a month ago, and replaced with begonias. Their flower pots are sitting empty. Has there been a separation? Impending divorce? Illness?
No, they just discovered “mommy porn.” They are hiding in a little corner in their homes reading “Fifty Shades of Grey.” I know because when we go to soccer practices or the club their whispering about it, giggling. They greet each other with, “what page are you on?” They declare that the second book is better than the first. Everyone my age is talking about it as if they have never seen the opposite sex’s private parts in the daylight. They are acting like a locker room full of high school boys with a dirty magazine. I feel so left out!
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