We all get things in our teeth. We all get boogers. We all have boobies. Just don’t have pictures of your OWN things as in food in teeth, boogers in nose or YOUR boobies on YOUR phone. OH, and NEVER, ever, leave your phone with a group of teenagers without a password on it.
Awkward! What do I do Now?
This does not change the fact that I just got a naked topless picture of a mom I know from my boys school.
A pair of boobies staring at me that I find myself studying and concluding that those are indeed her boobies.
Holy-Mother-of-God. What do I do?
How To Tell Your Lawn Guy You’re Very Sorry
He threw himself on his back and rolled around screaming and laughing.
I continued into the road smiling again wondering how long before he realized he was rolling around where our dog does her “business.”
Can you send your lawn guy flowers?
Poor Tired Husbands and their Wives’ Naughty Books, My “Fifty Shades of Grey” Experience
I feel like an outcast.
My sweet, southern, girlfriends that I find so refreshing, have a little secret.
You can drive by their brick houses and see that something is going on with the family that lives there. The pansies that were planted last fall are leggy in their flower beds and should have been pulled out a month ago, and replaced with begonias. Their flower pots are sitting empty. Has there been a separation? Impending divorce? Illness?
No, they just discovered “mommy porn.” They are hiding in a little corner in their homes reading “Fifty Shades of Grey.” I know because when we go to soccer practices or the club their whispering about it, giggling. They greet each other with, “what page are you on?” They declare that the second book is better than the first. Everyone my age is talking about it as if they have never seen the opposite sex’s private parts in the daylight. They are acting like a locker room full of high school boys with a dirty magazine. I feel so left out!
The Bethenny Frankel Show Called Me!!!
I have to share this super exciting thing that happened about a week ago. I share this because I realize this is probably as far as my very exciting story is going to go. As usual, my frontal lobe is defective and I ramble things off that perhaps I shouldn’t, even to television producers! As […]
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