I finally am able to inhale enough to exhale a sentence from my hypervenhilating…
“YOU DRANK MY PET SEA MONKEYS!”
His face.
My God…his face.
His eyes were huge and his head led his body into the kitchen sink.
This Stuff Only Happens To Me!
Have you ever felt like your kids school’s teachers and staff think you are disheveled, bonkers or possibly a stripper? Well, after the story I am about to tell you you will realize that my kids principal and school counselor probably think I am all three.
The Bethenny Frankel Show Called Me!!!
The same way people fantasize about winning the lottery, I am fantasizing about my girlfriend and I running away to CAL-i-forn-“I”-“A” to meet Bethenny Frankel! Heck, I think ALL of my neighborhood girlfriend peeps would fly out for that!
Is she calling to tell me we won?!!!!
God and That Sense of Humor
I hit the clicker and as I looked down to check the photo and I saw she was upside down! No worries as she was fine but…priceless.
Booger-Gate
I tell them I have bought a BOOGER DNA test from Walgreens and if whomever has done this despicable act comes clean before I get the results I might be more understanding.