Ten years ago my butt didn’t need pockets but this new, old butt needs pockets to break up the junk in my trunk. Confuse them is what I always say, use ruching, scarfs, a cardigan, a blazer, blinking light on my forehead. Not not really a blinking light but if I can’t get this tube top you wear around your waist to take off as the “next thing” or a “belly warmer” as I call it, I may start wearing an orange traffic cone as a hat.
My “Lucky Pants”
They are awesome. They are python and plastic and PERFECT for a Van Halen concert. And they are lucky. Not in a “get lucky” way but in an even better way. They are my Lucky Brush with a Rockstar Pants.”
Moment You Realize You Have Done Too Much For Your Kids…
I could make a tiered red velvet cake at his age, alone. I remember my mom handing me the keys to her Mazda when I was eleven and her saying, “Go get some bread and milk.” And I did. Doesn’t mean that it was right, but I could do it. He genuinely could not get his shoes laced up. He was mad and he was mad at me for not doing it for him.
I’m Gonna Kick That Rabbits A$$
So if I ever skip a day posting, like yesterday …please say a little prayer for me. I will have a new post I’m writing in my head that will have a title something like, “I’m taking the Easter Bunny back behind the woodshed.” or “I’m going to kick that Bunnies A$$!”. Story content will […]
After this I deserve a belly button restoration…
After the hospital didn’t have a “latex free induction room” available I was sent home to wait with a restaurant like pager that lights up when I am allowed to give birth. After my due date came and went and my Mother-in-Law was due to fly back the next day I was forced to lie! […]
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