Have I ever told about the time I called 911 when Jim was in Washington DC for six weeks and I was home alone with three little boys? It was terrifying and of course it turned out to be funny because I was, as usual, embarrassing myself. Someone had the front door and was shaking it […]
I know it looks like I am a stripper but the wig is actually my husbands.
Have you ever felt like your kids school’s teachers and staff think you are disheveled, bonkers or possibly a stripper? Well, after the story I am about to tell you you will realize that my kids principal and school counselor probably think I am all three. The night before the first day of school and because this was our first year […]
I am moving into my closet. Don’t tell the teenagers.
This is about kids and what other parents don’t tell you. You see today I was trying to write a different blog post. I wrote a story that I need to pull the pictures off my laptop to share within it. I started writing this post from my cell phone. It is a cry for […]
The Boy Wants Gin on a Snow Day?
I don’t know where you live but here in North Carolina we’re getting snow days. North Carolina is drunk. You may already know I am not a big fan of snow or winter or anything having to do with wearing a coat. Yesterday was a magical snow day for us after I was reminded to […]
Poor Husbands and their Wives’ Naughty Books, My “Fifty Shades of Grey Experience”
You can drive by their brick houses and see that something is going on with the family that lives there. The pansies that were planted last fall are leggy in their flower beds and should have been pulled out a month ago, and replaced with begonias. Their flower pots are sitting empty. Has there been a separation? Impending divorce? Illness? Nope, it’s “Fifty Shades of Grey.”
Giving Pregnancy Results At The Dollar Store, True Story
I took Mitchell, one of my twins, to Michaels and the Dollar Store today for science project materials. I was standing next to a young man who worked at the store when this rough looking guy came walking up to the store employee and said, “Ummmm, so if I wanted to try to figure out […]
Advice for Choosing the Right Prep School, Funny Advice
Advice for choosing the best prep school. Ok, come on, you know I am not serious but here is something to consider in case you run a little “Ari Gold,” like me. http://gph.to/1EKi7zS We have had our boys at three very distinct schools. First they attended public. Then we tried super-preppy-private. Like the kids are driving […]
Worse Case Scenario Parenting
It looks like we have another unplanned project to do. The barn-house had a frozen pipe. I used one of my coping skills to deal with it. My Worst Case Scenario Skill Set for Parenting A renovation, (second one at the barn in 12 months) was NOT the plan for me this winter. I was […]
Never Vlog and Drive, A Tractor
I decided I wanted to Vlog about our farm and barn-house. I don’t Vlog but I thought I might try. It ended terribly!!!! Seriously! Never Vlog and drive, a tractor. I caution you, I talk in it. I hate my voice and what I look like on video…but I am trying. Here is the rest […]
Ten Stupid Things I Learned at My First Blogging Conference
We wished we had someone with more experience to talk to but it turns out those with more experience were out together trying to get away from the people trying to “crack into their nut.” I get it. I have long time girlfriends too and I am sure these women have amazing relationships. Do I sound jealous? I am not because I really do get it. They have worked very hard to learn what they have learned and I am sure they had some bumps and bruises along the way.
Write it on Your Wall, BUT not Really
Dear husband, When you say to our son, “Write it on your wall so you remember the dates. I will take you boys to Atlanta to see a super-cross in February” you should remember he is TEN. Ten year-olds don’t have Facebook “walls” to write their plans on. Ten year-olds will just write that s*@! […]
Winter Blues Beaten Down by Monster Flowers
I called my friend this morning and ask her if I give her a vase if she could make me up some flowers for the kitchen island. I have the winter blues. I say BIG. The arrangement has to be big enough to beat down “THE BLUES.” I need MONSTER FLOWERS. She asks, “How big” […]
Teenagers Will Eat Anything
Southern Dreams
I miss my southern Mamaw that I would call in the morning to interpret my dreams. I don’t believe in all that hocus-pocus but her confident answers always made me laugh. She would dream she was catching fish and she would call us all, one by one, and ask if we were pregnant. We would […]
Cutting the Cord, The Game Console Cord
I just answered a phone call on the home phone, (no one calls the home phone) “Hello, is Peter around?” Says a GROWN man. Me, “Uh…yeah. One moment please.” “Peteeeerrre, you have a phone call.” Me to man in phone, “May I ask who is calling?” Him, “This is Paul.” Oh, heck no. Who is […]
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